


Can you hear me Brother?

by sherlock221Bismymuse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Pining Sam Winchester, Pre-Stanford Era (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 14:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19201141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock221Bismymuse/pseuds/sherlock221Bismymuse
Summary: Sammy has always been fond of words.But Dean is a man of action.That may be why he can't understand what Sam is saying.





	Can you hear me Brother?

**Author's Note:**

> A weird fic that just happened.....

 

By the time Dean came out of the shower, Sam had fallen asleep on the bed face down, exhausted after their latest hunt.

Dean looked at him, taking in the way his feet were hanging off the bed, having grown taller than any normal human being needed to be (in his opinion).

His eyes grew a little soft, allowing himself to let his feelings show, now that there was no one there to look at him. He could let the whole ‘Dean Winchester is a Badass with No Time for Chick Flick Moments’ mask slip for a bit.

He had taken his little brother and run for safety the day the Yellow Eyed Demon had taken their mother. _Sammy may no longer fit in the cradle of his arms_ he thought wistfully _but he was carrying him in his heart just as fiercely and protectively and in an all- consuming way as he had done on that day and every day since._

Look out for Sam. Look after Sam.

Keep Sam safe. Keep Sam happy.

Feed Sam. Protect Sam. Care for Sam.

Dean never had anyone do that for him. He was Dad’s little soldier. Alert and alone. But Dean never even gave that even a fleeting thought. Never thought of what he was missing and never considered that he was owed anything as he poured himself into doing it all for his Sammy.

Into being _everything_ to his Sammy.

As the years passed and he found himself being father and mother and brother and best friend and …well…everything to him, all that his heart and his mind and his very being knew was that Sammy was the Sun and Dean would forever be in orbit around him.

He was no longer capable of a separate existence.

.

.

.

Dean blinked and came out of his reverie and saw that the laptop had not been shut down properly. Sammy must have been really tired. He would never have left it that way, not when he constantly bitched and whined about it whenever Dean did it.

He went over to shut it and of course, being Dean, had to check and see if there was any porn saved in those folders on the desktop.

‘Books to read’. Dean rolled his eyes and scrolled down.

‘Healthy eating.’ _Jesus Sam!_

‘Places to visit.’ _Huh? Hadn’t they been to almost every state in the US?_

Dean clicked on the folder and saw photos of the Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, Gondolas in Venice.

_Damn Sammy, he was such a girl!_ _His entire brain seemed to be one large chick flick…._. Dean thought to himself even as he made some kind of half formed resolve to take him to all those places one day.

‘Dictionary.’

He had to snort when he saw that. He opened the folder, sure that he would find something he could use to tease him about. It had one document.

 

Devotion

Devour

Death

Monster

Sin

.

.

_Seriously?!! The fuck Sammy was up to…….was he going to write a damn essay for school on how to hunt monsters and save your life?_ _Was he preparing a compendium for Hunters? A glossary of key words you must know if you want to live your life in motels and kill monsters?_

He frowned. _Sammy and his over thinking._

But something about these words gave him an odd feeling.

He had always believed that he knew Sam even better than he knew himself but for the past few months he had felt him drift away. No. Not just drift away. Close down.

Dean had thought it was just the usual teenage angst. He remembered how he used to get into a dark funk at that age and the only reason he maintained his sanity was because he always had Sam to look after. He never allowed himself to get into his own head so deep that he would not be able to look after Sam.

So he scrolled back up and started reading through the list.

 

  * **Devouring** : eating food or prey hungrily or quickly.  "he devoured half his burger in one bite"



 

Dean gave a half smile at that. _Yeah. That would be him._

 

Synonyms:  destroy, consume, engulf, envelop, demolish, lay waste, wipe out, annihilate, devastate.  (of fire or a similar force) destroy completely. be totally absorbed by a powerful feeling.

 

He frowned. Suddenly that did not sound like they were discussing same thing.

 

"the wolf is a devouring beast"

 (of an unpleasant feeling) totally absorbing. "a devouring sense of loneliness"

"the hungry flames devoured the old house"

 

Dean rubbed his face.

 

He was too tired for this but it was setting off faint alarm bells inside him. Surely he was being paranoid. Sam was so clever and read so much and did all the research for him and Dad. Surely he was over reacting.

 

He scrolled down.

 

  * **Devotion:** love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person or activity. "his devotion to duty never wavered"



 

Synonyms: l oyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, trueness, staunchness, steadfastness, constancy, 

commitment, adherence, allegiance, dedication, devoutness, worship.

Middle English: from Latin  _devotio(n-_  ), from  _devovere_  ‘consecrate’.

  * **Eternal** : _adjective:_ lasting or existing forever; without end. (of truths, values, or questions) valid for all time; essentially unchanging. "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance



Synonym: everlasting , never en ding, endless, perpetual, undying, immortal, deathless, indestructible, imperishable, permanent, enduring, infinite, boundless, timeless

 

  * **Enchanting:** adjective: delightfully charming or attractive.



Synonyms: c aptivating, charming, delightful, attractive, appealing, engaging, winning, dazzling, bewitching, beguiling, alluring, tantalizing, seductive, ravishing, disarming, irresistible, spellbinding, entrancing, enthralling, fetching, dreamy; bonny. 

 

Dean smiled.  _Ok, these did not sound so bad. He was totally going to call Sammy ‘bonny’ tomorrow. This was brilliant!_

 

"Erica smiled an enchanting smile"

 

Dean frowned. This Erica from the dictionary did not put him in a happy place. It reminded him that someday soon, (if he didn’t already have one), Sammy would have a girlfriend.

 

Knowing his sensitive baby brother, he would never manage a casual hook-up the way Dean did. Dean was sure Sammy would totally woo her and bring flowers and look at her from under those bangs and do that puppy-dog thing with his eyes. His dimples would show when he gave her a shy smile…..as he leaned in to kiss her.

 

Dean snapped out of it, alarmed.

 

_Had he been creating his own chick flick reel inside his head right now?!_ _Man up Dean Winchester_ he told himself.

 

  * **Enchant** : fill (someone) with great delight; charm. "Isabel was enchanted with the idea."



 

_Oh was she now?_ Dean almost snarled. _What idea?_

 

put (someone or something) under a spell; bewitch.  "Marcia had enchanted the rope so that it simply regenerated when any length was cut off"

When he was done with the word he was even more confused than before he started. 

_Why was Sam doing this? It did not look like a school project._  

He read some more words.

 

 

  * **Encompass** : surround and have or hold within. Synonyms: surround, enclose, ring, encircle, embrace, contain, involve, deal with. 



 

  * **Thrill:** a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure. An experience that produces a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure.



Synonyms:  stimulation, sensation, glow, tingle, titillation, tremor, wave, rush, surge, flash, flush, blaze, stab, dart, throb, tremble, quiver, flutter, shudder, vibration.

cause (someone) to have a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure. "his kiss thrilled and excited her"

Synonyms:  excite, stimulate, arouse, rouse, inspire, give joy to, delight, give pleasure to, stir (up), exhilarate, intoxicate, electrify, galvanize, move, motivate, fire (with enthusiasm), fire someone's imagination, fuel, brighten, animate, lift, quicken, quiver, throb, feel joy, tingle.

 

_Tingle?!!_ Dean shivered as his eyes flicked back to all these words. 

_This felt like he was reading porn and it was just from the dictionary….was Sam planning to write erotica?!_

_‘His kiss thrilled and excited her’?!!_

 

He shook his head to get rid of the image of Sam kissing some girl and exciting her. 

_What the fuck were dictionaries up to?! Who needed porn when you had a dictionary eh?_

 

  * **Monster:** a large, ugly, and frightening imaginary creature.



"a monster with the head of a hyena and hindquarters of a wolf"

Synonym:  brute, fiend, beast, ogre, devil, demon, barbarian, savage, villain, sadist, animal, bogeyman,  an inhumanly cruel or wicked person

 

  * **Sin** : an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.



Synonyms:  immoral act, wrong, wrongdoing, act of evil/wickedness, transgression, crime, offence, misdeed, misdemeanour, error, lapse, fall  an An act regarded as a serious or regrettable fault, offence, or omission. 

commit a sin.

"I sinned and brought shame down on us"

commit a sin, offend against God, commit an offence, transgress, do wrong, commit a crime, break the law, misbehave, go astray, stray from the straight and narrow, go wrong, fall from grace

 .

.

 

_Sammy had been on hunts with them and had killed his fair share of monsters._

_So what was this all about?_ _What kind of sin could his sweet baby boy possibly have committed?_

Dean’s mind was at war with itself. This was just a list of words, nothing weird about it. Not a confessional. Not autobiographical. Ok so maybe they were a little but hey the kid was almost 18 and this was the only life he had known. Of course the words were related to their life as a hunter.

But suddenly there were these deeply passionate words that threw him off balance.

**Eternal. Devotion. Timeless.**

  * **Timeless**  : not affected by the passage of time or changes in fashion.



Synonyms:  lasting, classic, enduring, ageless, permanent, perpetual, perennial, abiding, unfailing, unchanging, never-changing, changeless, unvarying, unfading, invariable, unending, without end, ceaseless, never dying, undying, deathless, immortal, eternal, everlasting, immutable, indestructible, imperishable

.

.

 

_Was this still about hunting monsters? What was going on inside that huge brain of his baby brother?!_

Dean wasn’t terribly sensitive to feelings in general, including his own, but this was Sammy …his baby boy. Dean looked over to see Sam still passed out all over the bed, deep asleep. He smiled at the sight of the man-child, looking far younger in his sleep than his almost 18 years. 

He was tempted to cross over and caress that beautiful face, and sweep those bangs off his forehead. 

He took a deep breath and he carried on reading.

 

  * **Essence** : the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, which determines its character.



 

Synonym: quintessence, soul, spirit, ethos, nature, life, lifeblood, core, heart, centre, crux, nub, nucleus, kernel, marrow, meat, pith, gist, substance, principle, central part, fundamental quality, basic quality, essential part, intrinsic nature, sum and substance, reality, actuality 

a property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is.

 

  *   **Survive** : continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship. "against all odds the child survived"



Synonym:  remain alive, live, sustain oneself, cling to life, pull through, get through, hold on, hold out, make it,  manage to keep going in difficult circumstances , keep body and soul together.

Survival: noun: the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances. "the animal's chances of survival were pretty low"

 

  * **Love:**   an intense feeling of deep affection.



"babies fill parents with feelings of love"  Deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment

a strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone.  "he was in love with her"

besotted with, infatuated with, enamoured of, love-struck by, smitten with, passionate about, with a passion for, consumed with desire for

a person or thing that one loves.  "she was the love of his life"

feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone).  be in love with, be infatuated with, be smitten with, be besotted with, be passionate about

"do you love me?"

Phrases

  * fall in love  
develop a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. _"I've fallen in love with you"_



  * fall out of love  
cease to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. _"we just fell out of love"_



  * for love  
for pleasure rather than profit. _"he played for the love of the game"_



  * for the love of God  
used to accompany an urgent request or to express annoyance or surprise. _"for the love of God, get me out of here!"_



  * love is blind  
loving someone makes you unable to see their faults. _"I don't see why he bothered with her but then, love is blind"_



  * the love that dare not speak its name  
an allusive term for homosexuality.



  * make love  
have sexual intercourse. _"one of the young men makes love to a village girl"_



  * not for love or money  
not in any circumstances. _"they'll not return for love or money"_



  * there's no love lost between  
there is mutual dislike between (the people mentioned). _"there's no love lost between Scott and me"_



.

.

Dean sat there frowning at the screen. That was just an entire page about love.  


_Was Sammy in love? Is that what had made him so crabby and difficult in the past year?_

Dean kept having this nagging doubt that this was some kind of code and he was frustrated at not being able to decipher it.

_This was his Sammy! How could he not understand what was going on inside his head??_

He read on, baffled and annoyed.

 

  * **Separation:** noun:  the action or state of moving or being moved apart.



Synonym:  disconnection, detachment, severance, uncoupling, break-up, split, split-up, parting, estrangement, parting of the ways, rift, rupture

the division of something into constituent or distinct elements.  the process of distinguishing between two or more things.

 

  * **reject :** dismiss as inadequate, unacceptable, or faulty.



" refuse to agree to (a request).  turn down, refuse, decline, say no to

rebuff, spurn, repudiate, cut off, cast off, cast aside, discard, jettison, abandon, desert, turn one's back on, have nothing (more) to do with, wash one's hands of, cast out, shut out, exclude, shun, cold-shoulder, give someone the cold shoulder

a person or thing dismissed as inadequate or unacceptable.

 

 

  * **terror :** extreme fear.



"people fled in terror"  extreme fear, dread, horror, fear and trembling, fright, trepidation, alarm, panic

  * **parting** the action of leaving or being separated from someone. "they exchanged a few words on parting"



farewell, leave-taking, goodbye, adieu, departure, leaving, going (away)

division, dividing, separation, separating, splitting, breaking up/apart, severance, disjoining, detachment, partition

Phrases : parting of the ways — a point at which two people must separate or at which a decision must be taken.

leave someone's company.  "there was a good deal of kissing before we parted"

Synonym:  leave, take one's leave, say goodbye/farewell/adieu, say one's goodbyes, say/make one's farewells, separate, break up, go one's (separate) ways, take oneself off, set off, be on one's way, go, go away, get going, depart, be off.

 

give up possession of; hand over. 

Synonym:  give up, relinquish, forgo, surrender, hand over, deliver up, let go of, renounce, give away, dispose of, discard, abandon, sacrifice

.

.

 

Dean shook his head. _Was Sammy seriously working his way out of a love sick break up and doing this emo shit in the most nerdy way possible?_

_Could his baby brother be more adorable?!!_

He was going to have to talk to him about this tomorrow.

Something twisted in his heart as he allowed himself a brief moment to accept just how much he loved him.

That pure sweet gentle boy with the biggest heart in the universe.

He shivered at the thought of Sammy ever finding out the kind of impure lustful thoughts his big brother had about him. The kind of dreams, the intensity of his longing, the sheer ribcage tearing desire that made his heart beat double fast.

.

.

He moved the cursor to the icon for shutdown.

As the laptop powered down he turned away quickly and left the room to take a short walk, restless, unable to lie down despite his exhaustion.

As though the words he had read were somehow crawling under his skin like black ants.

.

.

He never even noticed an envelope on the desk addressed to Samuel Winchester, from Stanford University.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a fic set in the same era.
> 
> I loved it !
> 
> Just Take a Look at Me Now. https://archiveofourown.org/works/651397


End file.
